Sunday, October 20, 2013

Distance

I dreaded writing this post. I put it off for weeks and told myself a million times that I absolutely had to write it today but I eventually made an excuse to not write it. Distance... is hard. It's not for everyone. It's not for the weak hearted - that is for sure. Never in a million years would I have dreamed to be in a long distance relationship. I'm going to give a little background history of my relationship, but before I do I would just like to make one thing clear, distance is distance. I find it so immature when girls give each other shit about whether or not their relationship "counts" as long distance or not. It doesn't matter if you're in different cities, states, countries. Distance is distance. It seems like girls try to make it a competition at times - who has the harder long distance relationship. EVERY long distance relationship is hard. 

Now that I've made that clear, time for a little background information on my relationship. My boyfriend lives in the same hometown as me - but has been in different boarding schools since his freshman year of high school. When I met him he was attending a prep school two hours away from our hometown while I attended the public high school in our town. Luckily, when his hockey schedule allowed it, he came home on the weekends. People always ask me how I dealt with seeing him for only two days every couple of weeks - schedule permitting. What they don't realize is that this is all I've ever known. I've never had the luxury of having my boyfriend at the same school as me so it just seemed normal to me. It has been extremely difficult at times, there's no denying that. During my senior year I went on a foreign exchange trip to Germany for three weeks. Three weeks in a different country with a six hour time difference.. That was hard. But we got through it and I think it made us even stronger. Now, I'm away at college while he's living at home and playing Junior hockey. We see each other a lot more now than we did last year, which is amazing. But it's still just as hard. We both have extremely busy schedules, he's in a different state on roadies every weekend while I'm trying to balance school and a job and a social life and a boyfriend. Honestly, it's exhausting at times. Trying to plan out dates and times to see each other usually ends in one of us getting frustrated or upset. At times, I wonder if it's really worth it. At times, I think to myself that yes it's great that he's home this year but what happens next year? What if he gets offers from D1 colleges that are far away from me? I constantly overwhelm myself when I start thinking like that so I often remind myself to "stay in today", meaning not to let the future worries bother me today. I don't regret a single second of my relationship, distance and all. I believe that any long distance relationship can work if you truly want it to work. 

And now, here's a bit of insight from another hockey girlfriend's point of view! I was lucky enough to have Jessica (@JessiRaab) email me her thoughts on her long distance relationship: Well, let me just start off by saying.... Long distance is hard and I truly admire and feel somewhat connected to anyone going through it. Not being able to see the one you love for months at a time can be one of the worse feelings in the world. I've been in a long distance relationship with my boy for about two years now. My boyfriend plays hockey so for about 8 months out of the year he's in a different area playing for a team. This year he is playing up in Oregon, last year it was Fresno. Fresno was only two hours from where I live, so I've experienced the "short" long distance and now I'm experiencing the out of state one. Regardless of how far or "close" they are too you, distance is distance and its hard either way. Although, it's so easy to get caught up in all the negatives of long distance, the positives are the hard ones to feel but that doesn't mean they are not there. In my personal opinion long distance brings two people closer then ever. That constant feeling of missing someone, only makes you cherish the time you actually have together. It makes you appericate all the little things, that you dont even realize how much you miss. A thing as simple as a kiss could be such an amazing moment between a couple dealing with long distance! If I could give one critical piece of advice when dealing with long distance, it would be, cherish the little things and no matter how hard things may get, always find the positives everyday in your relationship. My boyfriend and I are both really positive people, and believe me when I say we have our bad days too, but it really helps that no matter what we can always smile and say "this is worth every second of pain we go thorough." I never thought I would be in a long distance relationship, but when it comes down to it, I wouldn't change it for the world. It's going to make for a great love story for my love and I and I'm sure it will for all your girls dealing with it too! It's always good to know other girls are dealing with the same types of situations and I thank "preppy hockey girlfriend" for letting me write a part in her blog to help other girlies dealing with long distance!! 

Xoxo, 
Jessica & Junior Hockey Girlfriend

1 comment:

  1. Loved this. I've always struggled with the distance part of being a hockey girlfriend but in the end it only brings you closer.

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